Support for men and women who have experienced (or for those of you who are still experiencing) Narcissistic Abuse.
Hi I’m Stephanie Allen and I have a great deal of compassion for anyone who has (or indeed still is) experiencing Narcissistic Abuse after being through this process of crazy-making myself.
Now as a qualified Counsellor and Life Coach I am able to recognise almost immediately when working with a person, if they themselves, are indeed a victim of Narcissistic Abuse.
Just like heroin is to a heroin addict, the Narcissists addiction, is to totally destroy your very soul.
After a prolonged period of abuse, you may feel (the person you once were) has now been totally erased. You are left feeling like a shadow of your former self, have feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, and maybe doubting your own sanity, and be left feeling suicidal. On top of this, many victims of Narcistic Abuse may also display symptoms of Complex PTSD.
If you are in a romantic relationship with a Narcissist you may have noticed your partner behaving in the following ways.
- Your partner is “always” right, and you are “always” wrong.
- Your partner has an uncontrollable rage that goes from 0-100 in seconds
- When speaking, your partner may talk over you constantly. Nothing you have to say is relevant or important (it is all about him/her)
- Your partner talks “at” you, not to you.
- Your partner is a different person around other people. Everyone else thinks he/she is a charming and charismatic character.
- Character Assassination – he/she makes up terrible stories about you, to turn people against you in order to isolate you even further.
- Flying monkeys – Your abuser may portray you as a horrible person (making up bad stories about you) in order to have others behaving aggressively towards you, to further villainise and victimise you.
- Gaslighting – he/she will move things around, and tell you it was you. Or may have conversations with you, telling you about things you have said and done (you know you haven’t). However, over a long period of time, you eventually begin to question your sanity.
- Your partner orchestrates events (in front of others) in which he/she is the perpetrator, and yet will sit back (after triggering you to react) and pretend to be the victim.
- Your partner will also use fear and guilt in order to control and emotionally manipulate you in many ways.
- At the beginning of your relationship, your partner may have love-bombed you. He/she would stop at nothing in order to get you into his/her life. Yet now you are together, your partner constantly puts you down, belittles you, devalues you, and seams to seek pleasure in humiliating you at any given opportunity.
People with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) use mind games and language specifically designed to get their victims to behave in the following ways.
- You may find yourself questioning your sanity
- Through your partner, you may mistrust those who support you i.e., family, parents
- Feel worthless
- Give yourself no credit for any of your hard work
- Doubt your ability to think or make decisions
- Disconnect from your own wants and needs
- Give in to whatever the narcissist wants
- Devalue your own contributions
- Obsess over your faults or mistakes
- Ignore or make excuses for narcissist’s actions
- Try relentlessly to gain the narcissist’s favour
- Obsess over how to make the narcissist happy
Unfortunately, based on my experience through counselling in private practice, it appears as many counsellors (are very sadly) still unable to recognise this form of abuse.
Which has indeed, (indirectly) also had a catastrophic impact on my clients who have accessed counselling previously, and not felt seen, heard, or understood.
This has led on to further traumatise clients, and by the time they come to see me, they are at the lowest point in life, often feeling suicidal.
Having felt very alone previously (as a former victim of Narcissistic Abuse) with absolutely no one, who understood my experience, or what was going on for me I have decided to hold an event once a month in the Caerphilly area (South Wales).
My hope is that people can meet up, reach out and connect with others, to form and maintain meaningful friendships, with individuals who are finally able to understand each other’s individual experience.
If this is of interest to you, please email me for details of where & when the next upcoming event will be held.
Facebook Support Group
I have also decided to set up a Facebook Support Network Group, in order to hopefully help many people who have suffered this experience. This will be a safe place where people can both help, encourage and support one another through their journey.
For those of you who wish to access counselling regarding your abuse, please use the contact me section.
Ask a question or book an appointment below.