Blogs

I provide one to one counselling sessions and group workshops at my practice.

Are you a victim of narcissistic abuse? 

If you have found yourself questioning your own sanity, and find yourself wondering which one of you is the toxic, or crazy one within your relationship, this maybe an indication that you are the victim of Narcissistic Abuse.

Working as a Counsellor I often have clients arrive at my office believing strongly that they themselves are the person with the problem within their relationship. Their self esteem is generally on the floor, and by this point in time I find my clients are more often than not, at crisis point and feeing suicidal.

Here are some of the questions I tend to ask my clients in order to distinguish if they are in a toxic relationship with a narcissist.

Do you find no matter what your partner is always right (according to them) and you are always in the wrong?

Does your partner have what appears to be an uncontrollable rage that goes from 0 – 100 in seconds?

Within your conversations does your partner often tend to talk over you when your speaking?

If you ask your partner a straight forward question, does he/she often derail you, so you never end up getting a straight answer?

Does your partner often call you names or make statements about you that you feel don’t resemble your true character at all?

Does your partner criticise you frequently, and if you complain about it do you get told you are just way to sensitive and it was just a joke?

Does he/she instigate situations within your relationship in which they are the persecutor , but often sit back and pretend to be the victim, whilst accusing you of being the persecutor?

Do you feel as though you are constantly walking around on eggshells when you are with your partner?

Does your partner emotionally manipulate you by using either fear, obligation of guilt in order to control you?

Does your partner have black and white thinking. They either treat you like your the best thing since sliced bread, or they totally devalue you, treating you like a piece of dog mess on their shoe?

Does he/she make you totally question your sanity? For example, does your partner ever convince you that you have done, or said something that you are sure you haven’t?

Do you find there is an extremely large difference in how your partner behaves around others, compared to who they really are when at home alone with you?

And do you find yourself behaving in certain ways (within your current relationship) that you have never behaved before in any other relationship?

Has your partner created smear campaigns against you that are totally untrue?

After a period of time within your relationship you are left feeling insane, exhausted, drained, shocked, suicidal and empty?

If you have answered yes to the majority of these questions then it is highly likely that you are a victim of Narcissistic Abuse.

Like heroin is to an heroin addict, the Narcissists fix is to totally destroy you. For instance, if you were once a confident and happy person when you first met your partner, you may find it very hard to even recognise yourself right now. This is often phrased as soul rape, because you are left to feel as though the Narcissist has almost erased the person you once were totally out of your life.

Many victims of Narcissistic Abuse tragically suffer with symptoms of CPTSD or PTSD. This is why it is essential to seek professional help, or source support groups in which people have an in depth understanding of Narcissistic Abuse.

Unfortunately many Counsellors / Psychologists (alongside many other professional services) are still unable to recognise Narcissistic Abuse and its effects. For example I have found that many victims (prior to having an appointment with myself) have gone to couples couples counselling in which the Narcissist has used the opportunity to use character assignation against the victim, and convince the Counsellor that the victim is the abuser, hence having the effect of further traumatising the client.

Having been a victim of Narcissistic Abuse myself I find I am often able to recognise victims of this form of abuse within my private practice very quickly.

Through personal knowledge I know how isolated and alone this entire experience of crazy making can make people feel, and therefore I have decided to set up a new Facebook Support Group in which victims can have an opportunity to both help and support each other throughout the recovery process whether they are currently in their relationship, or if they have already separated. If you feel this maybe of benefit to you, and would like to join the new group please use the link bellow. https://www.facebook.com/groups/493101977888761/

If you are a victim of Narcissistic Abuse and you would like professional help through the process of Counselling or Life Coaching you can book an appointment by visiting my website www.time2reflect.wales.

Please know there really is help, and there certainly is hope out there, and that in time, people can, and do recover from this traumatic experience.

Whilst we need to focus outwards on the Narcissist and the abuse we have endured from our encounter with them, we must also remember our main focus needs to go within. As it is the journey inwards that guides us to self understating, and self awareness. This is how we gain the priceless knowledge and insight needed in order for us to clearly see and recognise that which was not visible to us at the time of the abuse. Also this allows us to develop the skills and knowledge needed that will prevent the abuse from being a pattern within our lives that is stuck on repeat.

Training, qualifications & experience

  • Personality Disorders
  • Eating Disorders
  • Engaging with adults who have been sexually abused
  • A Taste of Mindfulness for Counsellors
  • Love and Loss: The Roots of Complicated Bereavement
  • Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling
  • Ascentis Certificate, Awareness in Bereavement Care: The Foundation Course
  • Mental Health First Aid
  • ASSIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training)
  • Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
  • Life Coaching Diploma

I Work With Individuals, Groups & Corporate Clients

Contact Me

Ask a question or book an appointment below.

07990 549566

2 Ystrad Buildings, Trethomas, Caerphilly, CF83 8BT

steph@time2reflect.wales